When I look at you
by Jim Clancys Lollipop
Summary: ONESHOT ONLY Melinda is in pain, grieving a terrible loss and trying to heal. "How could you take someone so precious? So perfect? Do you even care?" Please read & Review xx Lolly xx


**I do not own any of the music, products or movies mentioned in this fic and as much as I wish I did.........I don't own GhostWhisperer or any of its characters, I do however, own those characters and storylines which appear in this fanfic, but not in the show. No copyright infringement intended!**

**This is a really sad little Oneshot that I thought of today, the song is 'When I look at you' by Miley Cyrus. This is a stand-alone so there won't be a sequel or anything, it was just something I felt needed writing. Please Please Please let me know what you think. Xxx Lolly xxX**

_**Everybody needs inspiration  
Everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
When the nights so long**_

Cause there is no guarantee  
That this life is easy... 

Melinda fell to her knees on the grass and cried, cried for the life that was lost...lost too soon. She shook her head and took a deep breath, her eyes fell closed and she held her head in her hands _Why him? What did he do to deserve this? _

_Nothing._

She glared up at the stars in the sky and screamed. _How could you take someone so precious? So perfect? Do you even care? Do you even care that he left behind a family, people who love him and need him and miss him? Do you care that he was mine? Do you care at all?_

_No._

Melinda reached out with trembling fingertips and traced the writing on the smooth marble headstone, so cold, slick with rain that poured heavily down on her, pulling her tears further down her cheeks and holding her hair to her face. "I need him!" she cried, "I need him back!" her voice broke and she doubled over as her body was wracked by heart-wrenching sobs, "why? Just tell me why!"

_**Yea when my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you  
**_

_Don't you dare tell me it was his time, don't tell me this happened for a reason, don't tell me he's in a better place. He should be here, in my arms, he made my world so much brighter, now it's like I just can't find my way back to that light, that happiness. You did this. To him. To me. To us. _"When I looked into those eyes, everything else disappeared, only he was left behind, so pure" Melinda whispered, she stroked the grass beneath her and sighed "I can't say goodbye, I won't".

_**When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you**_

Melinda smiled as she pictured his face, eyes bright and smile wide, his dark hair falling into his eyes. He appeared beside her, his spirit, "can you ever forgive me?" Melinda asked, "it wasn't your fault" he replied, "it was, if I had been looking at the road, if I hadn't have looked away..." she trailed off guiltily as she remembered.

**Jim climbed into the passenger's seat and leaned over to Melinda, "you sure you wanna drive? It's a long trip" he offered, she smiled "I don't mind" she replied happily, "we should be there by 6pm, if the traffic's light" Jim informed her, "and if we don't have to stop along the way" she chuckled. Melinda reached over and took Jim's hand, he pulled her closer to him and kissed her sweetly leaving her breathless, "like I can concentrate now" she joked, he smiled "my power of seduction baby, I'll never lose my touch" he said making her laugh "I'm offended" he said with a pout, Melinda's face softened "poor baby, I'm sorry honey, yes, you do have magical powers of seduction. You're absolutely irresistible" she said with a grin, "I detect a hint of sarcasm but I'll take what I can get" Jim replied, leaning over to kiss her again.**

_**  
When I look At You I see forgiveness  
I see the truth  
You love me for who I am  
Like the stars Hold the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I Know I'm Not Alone.  
**_

"Why aren't you in the light? It'd where you need to go, you know that" Melinda whispered "I have to know that you're gonna be okay" he replied, "I'll try" she promised, "you didn't do anything wrong" he whispered gently, "I did. _I did" _she replied angrily. Melinda closed her eyes against the tears and took in a shaky breath "it should have been me, I should have died, not you" she cried "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, her throat burned dryly as she screamed into her sobs "WHY?!" _Can I have him back? Please just let me hold him one more time, kiss him one more time, look into his eyes __**one more time.**_

_No._

_**Yea when my world is falling apart  
When there's no light to break up the dark  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you  
**_

"One more time" she pleaded, the dark sky continued to pour its own tears down on her, crying as she did, she didn't even feel the cold any more, didn't hear the thunder or see the lightning, she was numb. numb. numb.

Nothing. No happiness. No love. No pain.....Numb

"I'll make this right somehow, I'm gonna find a way" she whispered, "no, you can't, you can't hurt yourself" he cried, she sobbed harder "please don't cry, I don't wanna hurt you anymore than I already have" she said, he shook his head "it wasn't your fault" he sobbed.

_**When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you**_

"I don't know how to be alone" Melinda whispered to the sky "you're not alone" came a voice from behind here, a real voice, a living voice, Jim. "I knew I'd find you here" he said "I had to" she replied tearfully, he knelt beside her and wrapped his arms around her tightly "Melinda, you have to stop punishing yourself, this wasn't your fault" he said tearfully "yes it was Jim, I killed him....I _killed_ him" she screamed trying to push him away, but his arms wouldn't move. The spirit laid a hand on her shoulder "you didn't kill me" he whispered, "yes...I did" Melinda pushed her palms against Jim's chest and cried "let me go, this was my fault" he squeezed her so tight that it hurt and she stopped struggling "I'll never let you go Mel" he whispered, Melinda clutched onto Jim's shirt and held onto him for dear life as she fell apart, she just couldn't do it anymore, she had held it in for so long, had let them think she was getting better, but inside she was breaking, crumbling slowly from the inside out until eventually there was nothing left holding her together.

Because it wasn't just the two of them in the car that day, there was someone else, someone who didn't make it. Someone who died.

_**You appear just like a dream to me**_

_**Just like Kaleidoscope colors that  
Cover Me, All I need, **_

_**Every breath that I breathe**_

_**don't you know  
You're beautiful...  
**_

_**  
**_**"Mommy, I feel sick!" Aiden complained, Jim turned in his seat "you want a drink little man?" he asked, Aiden shook his head "no thanks daddy, are we nearly there yet?" he asked, Melinda chuckled "sure sweety, five more minutes" she smiled at him in the rear-view mirror and poked out her tongue making him chuckle. "You're so amazing with him" Jim admired, she smiled "you too, he looks up to you" she whispered, "I love you so much Melinda" he whispered back resting his hand on her leg, she lay her own hand over it leaving one on the steering wheel "I love you too Jim, forever" she said.**

_**  
**_"It was dark, I wasn't paying enough attention...I should have seen it, I should have..." she broke off in tears and reached out to run her finger over his name, carved into the marble like it was carved into her heart. "No, you could never have seen that truck Melinda, he came out of nowhere, it was his fault" Jim soothed "I don't blame you" the ghost comforted.

_**When the waves  
Are flooding the shore and I can't  
Find my way home anymore  
That's when I, I...  
I look at you  
I look at you**_

Melinda buried her head in Jim's shoulder and begged the memories to leave her alone._ Stop haunting me, stop following me, stop torturing me. _

"**Okay, 50 years from now?" Melinda asked continuing a game they had been playing, "ugh, we'll be in out eighties" Jim complained, "but I bet we'll still be happy" she replied, Jim chuckled "mommy, how old will I be then?" Aiden asked, "you'll be....in your fifties Aiden, and you'll have your own kids and maybe even grandkids" she replied, he scrunched his little face up "I never wanna get that old" he said, Jim chuckled "it will be a good thing Aid, you'll have your own family" he said with a smile "will I have a girlfriend?" he asked, Melinda giggled "you're just like your father" she chuckled, "you'll have a beautiful girl Aiden" Jim told him with a smile. Melinda looked up in the rearview mirror and smiled "you're gonna ha-" "MELINDA!" Jim yelled, "NOOO!!"**

**A flash. A crash. A screech. A bang. A scream. A cry. A stop. A breath. A name. Silence. Silence. Silence.**

Melinda gasped for breath as she cried, Jim held her to him and kissed her head over and over, rubbing her back and holding her hand "I held you in my arms" she said to the spirit still beside her, he nodded "I was there, I was watching, I saw everything" he whispered, "I'm so sorry" she sobbed "don't be, I'm okay now" he replied, "do you see the light baby?" she cried, he nodded with a peaceful smiled "I love you mommy, and you daddy" he said softly, Melinda sobbed harder "we love you too Aiden" she cried.

_**And you appear Just like a dream  
To me.**_

"He's gone"


End file.
